Latvia day 9 - Maybe Now I Understand...

So, I took yesterday off.  I was tired, and we seriously had a normal day.  Got up, had breakfast, went to the park, had lunch... blah, blah, blah.  There was lots of cuteness in there as well, but I just didn't feel like blogging. 

Today is a different story.  Our morning started out at 6:00 am when the fan in the girls room started making a horrible clicking noise and woke both the girls up, and they started crying because it scared them.  Normally they have been sleeping until at least 8:00 am, so this seemed WAY too early to be up!  Luckily I was able to just turn the fan off and settle them back down.  I think around 7:00 am they went back to sleep and we all woke up again around 9:00 am... all but Jon, who apparently never got back to sleep.  :(

We had breakfast and went for a walk around the city.  We ended up over near the central market, which is like a gigantic farmers market.  It is housed in four very large buildings that look like airplane hangers.  One is all fish, one meat, one cheese, and so on.  We walked through the fish one first and the girls liked looking at all the fish.  They kept saying, "ooh, yummy!" and I kept thinking, "yeah, that is why you gagged on my clam chowder at Christmas!"  Ha!

We walked back to the apartment in time for lunch and naps.  After naps we cleaned up the apartment, had a quick snack, and got ready for our second of three orphan court-appointed social worker visits.  She came with our lawyer/translator and talked with us for about an hour.  Well, she asked us a few questions and mainly talked with the girls.  We all sat at the dining room table playing with play-doh during the visit.  The social worker said the girls seemed to be doing great and we were doing a good job.  Phew!

After the meeting we sat and went over some paperwork with our lawyer, getting stuff ready for immigration visas for the girls to travel back to the States.  When that was done, we decided to walk back into the city and go out to dinner.  There is a restaurant here called Lido's that is like a buffet (though not all-you-can-eat).  We had potato pancakes, roasted potatoes, shashlik (which is like grilled kebab meat) in pork and chicken, some baked chicken, a sausage, banana pancakes (which was more like a banana crepe), some kind of meat pancake/crepe thing, and the girls ate a cucumber salad with some kind of beet sauce on it.  We all shared a little bit of each other's food to try the different things.  It was so yummy, and I was afraid the girls were going to throw up they ate so much!

After dinner we walked back to the apartment, watched the Olympic women's gymnastics finals (yeah team USA!), and then put the girls to bed.  That is when the you-know-what hit the fan. 

A few minutes after we had put the girls to bed we heard both of them crying.  We rushed to their room to see what was the matter.  Through the little Latvian we know, we thought they were saying something about the orphanage.  We couldn't get them calmed down, so I called our lawyer to have her talk to one of the girls, which did help.  After I got back on the phone with our lawyer she said that yes, the girls were missing their friends, their teacher, and the orphanage, and reassured me that this was perfectly normal.  We each laid down with a girl and just tried to be there for them as they went to sleep. 

At first my mind was just screaming, "why would you want to go back to the orphanage?!? I don't get it!"  But God started gently talking to me: "The orphanage is all they know, and they can't see their future if they stayed there.  They don't trust you enough to know what you have for them is better.  How many times have I had something better for you, but you just wanted to stay in what you know?"  Okay God, I am starting to get it.  Then I started thinking about the Israelites in the book of Exodus, when Moses led them out of slavery in Egypt.  This was a good thing for them, but they whined and complained about it the whole way - they even decided they had it better back in Egypt.  Because this is what they knew, they couldn't see what was ahead, and they didn't trust. 

I think for the first time I really understood this because it was being played out in my daughters right in front of me.  And it was heartbreaking.  Even now a few hours later I am crying over it.  We prayed over each girl, prayed that fear would be cast out and God's peace would take its place.  Vika fell asleep first and Mila finally gave into sleep as well. 

As you think about these girls, or us, or see something on Facebook, please pray for them.  Pray that they would learn to trust that we only have what is best for them in mind.  Pray that Jon and I would be forever holding onto God's hand in this and letting Him guide us, even when it is to places that we don't want to go because it is not what we know.  Thank you.