Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Where You lead, I will follow

Have you ever been perfectly happy going in one direction and then God opens a new door and changes your direction so fast it gives you whiplash?  Yep, that is where we are.

I felt really led to meet up with a friend of mine who has adopted from Kazakhstan before to hear about her experience.  During lunch I explained to her that I have looked into other countries and God always ends up asking me if I am trusting Him.  After I finished telling her that, she said she wanted to tell me about a program her and her husband are advocates for.  I smiled and said, "Go ahead and tell me, but I am sure God will stop me from really looking into it" (I don't think those where my exact words, but I know they were my thoughts!).  My friend told me about a hosting program from the country of Latvia.  They bring older orphans over for a month to stay in people's homes and learn about the culture, and in the process they get to experience a home life.  She also mentioned that most of the kids were 6 years old or older (which is older than what we were looking for).  Most of these kids that come over either end up getting adopted by their host families or someone else they come in contact with while they are here.  (I remember hearing about this program a few years ago and thought it would be a cool thing to do... and then never did anything about it!)

So, then she started telling me that there are actually some 4 year-olds on the list this time... 4 year-old twin girls to be exact. I got a little excited to hear that; over this past year a few people (even one of our sons) have told me that we were going to be bringing 2 girls home.  As she was talking I heard God say to me, "Don't be afraid"- okay, God... Then she said that one of the girls is HIV positive. Wow.  I was surprisingly calm and said that I thought I was okay with that.  We went our separate ways after lunch and she was going to email me the pictures she had of them.

Driving home,  I started praying (actually pleading) with God to talk to me about this. Were we supposed to go in this direction?  Were these the girls that were going to join our family? Nothing... no word from God.  I continued to pray and freak out a bit about the HIV... I told God I didn't know if I could handle that.  That was when He decided to speak to me; He said, "if not you, then who?"  AGGGHHH!  Okay, I couldn't think of anyone else to suggest who could do this instead of us!  By the way, I had another friend confirm this by saying pretty much the same thing to me! :)  Now I had to go home and talk to Jon about it.

I told Jon about my lunch with my friend, and my conversations with God about the girls.  Jon wasn't shocked about any of it and had a definite welling of emotion over this turn of events.  We both felt like this was the next step.  We decided that we wanted to host these girls, and unless God made it perfectly clear to us otherwise, we wanted to pursue their adoptions.

First off, though, we needed to talk to our boys and make sure they were okay with it.  It would mean sharing their Christmas (which could be a big deal to a kid!).  They were both so supportive and excited about it!  Praise God!  We showed them the pictures and the girls grabbed their hearts just like they did with Jon's and mine.

I started to feel a bit guilty about leaving Kazakhstan, and God said to me, "I never confirmed that for you," which is true; we just never heard "no."  I think God used Kaz and the last year to prepare us for this.  We are much more educated now and have learned different ways to pray, not only for our future child (or children), but also for our own boys. I think He used it to get me to talk to my friend, who was then obedient in telling me about the program.  God is pretty cool.

Will this be easy?  No. We will have 2 girls in our house who don't speak English, and then we will have to send them back to the orphanage.  I am sure that will be heartbreaking.  We are hoping that they will be back with us by next spring.  Just to get them here for the hosting program is going to cost us at least $5000.

Maybe after reading this you would like to help?  All donations will be completely tax deductible.  In addition to funding, we will also need clothes, toys, car booster seats, 1 more twin mattress and at least 2 twin-sized blankets.  We know that all of this will come together if it's God's will, because He is in control.  Please let me know if you would like to help out.  Even if you can't help financially, please, please be praying for us and for these beautiful girls.

I know... they look nothing alike, and yet they are twins!